In the words of Cristina Monet, “My sheets are stained/ So is my brain/ What’s a girl to do?”
Srsly Awkers, how am I still alive? By all logic and reason, I should be face down in a gutter covered in glitter and KY jelly. Instead I woke up face down in my bed …. covered in glitter …. and KY jelly.
I’m SO glad I did not wake up in time to ride on the parade float. 5 hours of sporadic rain? Count me out! Though it was highly entertaining to watch the beautifully done-up drag queens turn into wet rats. Their formerly precise makeup becoming a watercolor of gender confusion.
Speaking of confusion. I saw so many questionably of-age exposed private bits. Belonging to a plethora of genders and gender expressions. I swear, if those bumps on her areolas were brail, they’d say, “Caution: JAILBAIT!”
In other news, how is this blog going for you readers out there? How do you feel about being called Awkers? Should I figure out how to post pictures? Should I capitalize less? Capitalize MORE? I want this to be an interactive experience.
PLUR 4ever
