Is what you kept asking. That and, “Are you sure about this?” Come on guy. You’re a pity fuck. Show some bravado. Assert yourself. Make up for your physical shortcomings.
Like those thighs! How do only your thighs get chubby? How does that happen? I. don’t. understand. your. body. type.
Probably the most interesting part of the whole ordeal was when your roommate accidentally walked in. Srsly, what kind of roommate just opens a closed bedroom door and walks in at 4am? She’s probably used to eating tubs of icecream with you and watching Sex and the City dvds on Saturday nights.
In closing, all of the above is probably sufficient explanation for why I ran out of your house while you were in the bathroom.
Heartz,
-Awkward Nights
In the words of Cristina Monet, “My sheets are stained/ So is my brain/ What’s a girl to do?”
Srsly Awkers, how am I still alive? By all logic and reason, I should be face down in a gutter covered in glitter and KY jelly. Instead I woke up face down in my bed …. covered in glitter …. and KY jelly.
I’m SO glad I did not wake up in time to ride on the parade float. 5 hours of sporadic rain? Count me out! Though it was highly entertaining to watch the beautifully done-up drag queens turn into wet rats. Their formerly precise makeup becoming a watercolor of gender confusion.
Speaking of confusion. I saw so many questionably of-age exposed private bits. Belonging to a plethora of genders and gender expressions. I swear, if those bumps on her areolas were brail, they’d say, “Caution: JAILBAIT!”
In other news, how is this blog going for you readers out there? How do you feel about being called Awkers? Should I figure out how to post pictures? Should I capitalize less? Capitalize MORE? I want this to be an interactive experience.
PLUR 4ever
